Being a Mother

My friend sent this to me and I thought I would post it...

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong? Aren't you well?" she asked.

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded.
"Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed aht she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into that new white van. "They can't wait to hear about our date."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.
My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Halfway through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life.
We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.
"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place Mother and I had dined. An attached note said, "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off until 'some other time'.

***********************

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby...
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct...
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring...
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a 'good' mother, your child will 'turn out good'...
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother...
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love a second child as much as you love the first...
Somebody doesn't have two children.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery...
Somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten, or on a plane headed for military boot camp.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after he child gets married...
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home...
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said you mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her...
Somebody isn't a mother.

New Doctor / Hana Sick

Well, Hana is sick again. She's now always the one who gets it. Gaku never gets sick anymore (not that I'm complaining!). She was fine on Tuesday morning, running around and playing. Then she woke up from her nap that day really hot. I took her temp and it was somewhere between 39.5 and 40C (103-104F). Yikes! She had it most of that night, but woke up Wednesday morning fever free. But she was the fussiest child ever! Then Wednesday she woke up from her nap hot again and had the fever most of Wednesday night. Again, she woke up this morning fever free, but so fussy that it's impossible to do anything with her. Hmmm... No other symptoms at all.

Well, today we had a consultation scheduled with a new doctor, Dr. David Schindler. I had been looking for a doctor to come check out the new baby at the Providence Alternative Birthing Center and he came highly recommended by the midwives. After meeting with him, I'm really happy! He is flexible about vaccinations and is willing to not do all of them and not start on them so early! Yay! I definitely do not want to do the HepB the day the baby is born. I do not want to start any vaccinations at all until the baby is around 3-4 months old, which is more like the Japanese schedule. I would much rather give the baby's immune system a chance to get a bit stronger on its own before loading it up.

So, while we were there already, I had him check out Hana. He couldn't find anything that was wrong with her, and said he guessed it was viral and probably Roseola. He said that once the fever was gone, she would break out in a rash. I'm guessing he was right. She didn't get the fever tonight, but her right cheek is a super bright pink. I'm guessing the source is Chuck E. Cheese's on Saturday night? Well, maybe not because I just read that the incubation period is 5-10 days. I suppose it could be from a shopping cart. It's hard to say since Hana puts everything in her mouth and is always sucking her thumb. Oh well. To be honest, I'd rather have the kids catch some of this stuff when they're little and boost their immune system. It's tough on them (and me) to be sick, but I think it's better in the long run to catch some of this stuff when they're little rather than be overprotected. The good news is that she's mostly through with the Roseola now, and if the fever is gone, not contagious anymore after 24 hours. And Roseola is nothing serious. There isn't anything they do to treat it except medication to reduce the fever. Hopefully, Abbie doesn't come down with it now. She doesn't need to be sick any more!

Pictures (写真)

Okay, I have been absolutely terrible about posting pictures in the past year. For all my friends and family who are not on facebook, here are links to three albums I uploaded yesterday.
1年ぐらいブロッグは全然書きませんでした。写真もアップ全然しませんでした。ごめん！昨日facebookに写真をアップしました。facebookを使っていない友達と家族は下のリンクを使って下さい！


2009-12 Birthday and Christmas (誕生日とクリスマス)
Sarah's birthday is December 8 and Hana's is December 12, so on the 13th we had a joint birthday party for Sarah and Hana. They each had their own cake, of course! Then Gaku and Hana were pretty excited about Christmas. We had 20 people at the house for dinner - 14 adults and 6 kids. Unfortunately, I realize that once everyone was over I didn't take any more pictures. So many other people had cameras that I neglected to take any more photos!
サラ（私の妹）の誕生日は12月8日です。花ちゃんの誕生日は12日です。それから13日はサラとはなの誕生日パティーをしました。25日のクリスマスの写真もあります！がくとはなすごい興奮しました！クリスマスの食事の時20人はいました：大人14人、子ども6人。
http://www.editurl.com/8if


2010-01 Visiting the Schanhals in Grand Rapids
On New Year's Day, we headed over to visit the Schanhals. It's about 2 hours by car and we hadn't really made it over there to hang out since being back. (We also figured there would be more snow.) I took pictures of sledding and playing at the Grand Rapids Children's Museum, but again I was photographically delinquent and didn't take any pictures of the kids playing at the house!
お正月のひはお母さんの妹の家へ遊びに行きました。車で2時間ぐらいかかります。あちの方デトロイトのより雪が多い。そり滑りをすると子どもの博物館にいる時に写真撮った、けど家で写真一枚も撮らなかった。
http://www.editurl.com/8il


2010-01 Baby Shower
Here are photos from my baby shower. Sarah Rhodes and Claudia Goldenthal threw the shower for me. It's so much fun to have gotten back in touch with them. I used to babysit Claudia's kids; now the youngest is in high school and the older two are in college! There are also some pictures of Gaku and Hana playing.
アメリカでベービーシャーワーと言うパーティーをする。赤ちゃんが生む前に友達と家族を集まってパーティーです。
http://www.editurl.com/8in

Appeals to Parents - 甘える

It's so interesting to see how kids act differently when their own parents are gone and then return.

I went over to Jon and Colleen's house this week. I watched Abbie for a few hours and then Colleen watched them for the afternoon. Abbie, Gaku, and Hana were so excited at breakfast that none of them ate very much. They were too busy trying to make eachother laugh. Then we read lots of books and played. It's fun that they have cousins that are close in age.

As soon as Colleen got back, Abbie started really doing the mommy thing. She was using a kind of fake cry - half cry/half laugh - as soon as Colleen walked through the door. She wasn't very happy sharing her mommy with Hana and Gaku, and wanted all of Colleen's attention.

So, I left to go to work and they all played nicely during the afternoon. But as soon as I walked in the door in the evening, my two were doing the same type of "mommy appeal" that Abbie had done with Colleen earlier in the day. They were clamoring for every bit of my attention and wanting me to hold and snuggle them - even Gaku who isn't usually so snuggly anymore. And of course the minute I walked through the door, Gaku and Hana started fighting again.

But then Uncle Jon came home and all three kids wanted Uncle Jon/Daddy's attention. He was highest on the favorite person list at that moment.

Squirt Guns or Electric Collars for Kids?

You know, some days... Yesterday was one of those days.

They woke up fighting, fighting over toys, my water, my attention, snacks...

Some days I wonder... Would a squirt gun work? You know, how you train dogs to stop them from barking by squirting them when they don't stop? Or what about those electric dog collars? In this case, something on the wrist or ankle that is remote controlled. Just a little tiny ZAP to get their attention...

I dragged Gaku and Hana off to the chiropractor with me. Sometimes they're really, really good. Yesterday was NOT one of those days. While I was being treated with heat, they were playing with table. Gaku was sitting on it and encouraging Hana to step on the peddle. Up. Down. Up. Down. Nothing I said seemed to stop it. ZAP! Then when the doctor came in and was trying to treat me, Gaku was pushing on my legs. Then he started running around the room like crazy. The doctor stopped to tell him to stop running. ZAP! At least, they weren't interested in the water cooler yesterday, since they had their new sippy cups with them.

Then we went to Wendy's. They were good while I ordered, but Gaku was playing while eating, as always, and spilled milk everywhere. Then he was making me crazy while I was trying to clean it up. Hana almost spilled her milk. And Gaku realized he needed to pee, but thankfully decided he could wait a few minutes until we were done eating.

Then Meijers was a complete nightmare, right from the start! In the parking lot, Gaku was not listening and running ahead. BIG ZAP! I finally caught his hand, but he didn't want to hold my hand, so I had to almost drag him across the rest of the parking lot. ZAP! Then we got into the store and he wanted a TV cart. I will NEVER do one of those again after the last experience, a whole story in itself. So then he was grumpy because I wouldn't let him sit in the cart because I needed to buy some Sterilite drawers for the new baby's clothing. So in retribution, he started running around the store. ZAP! Then part way through our shopping trip, I realized that the cart I had grabbed did not have a proper buckle for the seat Hana was in. I hadn't strapped her in right at the beginning and now she was trying to climb out of the cart. ZAP! At one point, I had to stop and yell at both of them. Hana had kicked off one of her boots, and Gaku was playing with stuff from the shelves. ZAP! Then we were okay for a bit, until we got to the checkout. They were both climbing around like monkeys. ZAP! Then I realized that Hana's other boot was gone! Argh! And on top of that Hana had a poopy diaper. So we retraced our steps a bit to try and find the boot (since the toilets are on the other side of the store near the exit we were parked by). But no luck. We stopped and asked at customer service (right next to the bathroom), but it was too soon for it to have been turned in. We finally made it out of the store and to the car. Hana was asleep immediately.

Gaku was okay for a bit, until making dinner. He was helping me make risotto and garlic bread which is great! But he was a bit too tired, and we had a couple of meltdowns. He did a great job peeling the carrots. Then the problems started. He wanted to try and grate them for me as well. But the risotto was already on and time was of the essence. Meltdown. So instead I set him to work opening the big can of diced tomatoes, which made him happy. I got the carrots grated, but he only had the can of tomatoes half opened and I needed them. So I took over and he had another meltdown. Then he settled down a bit when I let him help put the garlic on the bread. Hana also woke up from her nap somewhere in the middle of all this. And it wasn't one of the days where she wakes up happy and agreeable. But luckily, I had hot cocoa waiting for her and this seemed to help quite a bit.

Luckily the rest of the night went smoothly. Bath and bed. So far, today is a much better day!

Cups That Don't Leak

Well, I'm always in search of the perfect sippy/straw cup, one that won't leak and that doesn't break too easily. I liked the Nuby straw cups best of all, until Gaku and Hana got a bit older. Now they bite through the straw part within a day. They still don't leak when closed, but are not really good for drinking out of anymore. Oh, and they are a bit of a pain to wash. So then I tried the Nuby sippy cups. Those were good for a few days, but then they bit them hard enough to break the part in the silicone top that prevents leaks. So now they're basically worthless because they leak. So a couple of days ago, I took the kids shopping with me at Walmart and Babies 'R Us and promised Gaku that I would get him a "small toy". Well, rather than a toy, he saw a couple of sippy cups that he liked - they were Toy Story. I figured they weren't very expensive, so okay, he could get them but that was his toy. He agreed and didn't ask for anything else at any of the stores. Hana got a pair that were Tinker Bell.

These sippy cups are by The First Years. The thing I noticed that is different is that all the way up to the very top is hard plastic. Then there's a small bit of silicone across the top of the harder plastic with a slit that they can suck the water through. So the part they're biting on is the hard plastic. So far so good... A couple of days with no leaks.

Now, I thought I could leave them alone with their water for a bit and not worry about leaks. So I was a bit surprised when Hana comes up to me with her head and shoulders completely soaked! I was trying to figure out what had happened. I tipped her cup upside down and shook it, mostly full and no leaks. So then I went and checked Gaku's. Hmmm... A bit suspect. No leaks but mostly empty. So I asked him why Hana's head was all wet. He kind of smiled but wouldn't say anything, of course. So I suggested that he had opened it and poured his water on, which he denied, but somehow this time his denial seemed believable. So what had happened? Well, about 30 minutes later, I figured it out! Hana took a drink of water, and what did she do? She spit it out all over the place in a very nice spray. Aha! Mystery solved.

Ahhhh... there may be leak-proof sippy cups, but there is no such thing as a kid-proof one!

Important Dates

Well, we've finally got the details worked out for our move to the States (well, most of them anyway).

On April 3, we're leaving Tokyo to go to Izumo. We'll spend about 2 and a half weeks in Izumo. Tak is arranging for internet service for while we're there. Yay! Otherwise, it's really hard to get any work done.

On April 22, we have a really long day! We catch a plane from Izumo to Tokyo (Haneda Airport) at about 7:30 in the morning, arriving in Tokyo at 9. Then we have to take a limousine bus (a little over an hour) from Haneda Airport to Narita Airport. Then at about 3:00 in the afternoon our plane leaves for Detroit. We'll have a few extra hours at Narita, but that's far better than being rushed all day. Hopefully, the weather will be nice and we can let the kids go run around outside at the plane viewing area. Once we clear security and customs, there is also a kids' playroom which we've never checked out before. I think we'll be checking it out this time!

We arrive in Detroit on April 23 at a little before 2 in the afternoon. It'll be crazier than usual this time. We have to do something in order to apply for Tak's green card. I've checked with people and heard that it doesn't take very long at all. Yay! Then we'll have tons of luggage with us. We usually only have 2-3 suitcases. This time we'll have 7 (the max that we are allowed for free)! We're not planning to ship anything, so those 7 suitcases are it. (All the rest of our stuff will stay in Izumo.)

Most of the stuff for moving is already organized for easy packing, and some stuff is already packed to send back to Izumo. We cleared out a lot of stuff and organized it when we moved to the apartment next door in December. That move was actually a really big help! It would have been really tough to go from the apartment we were in straight to the States.